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Erotic Romance Live Review, Part #2: The Twin Stepbrothers (“Aiee!”)

Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it

All right. I’ve skimmed through book 2, and I’m ready for this. It’s admittedly a lot more than I was prepared for, and I’ve never read something quite so … forward, but here goes.

1%

Prologue. This one starts with a bang, we’re in the middle of an arrest!

The young heroine, wearing only a nightie, begs the cops not to take away her hunky stepbrothers. But they’re being charged of “incest and rape” of their “sister”!
A mean female cop tells them that they’re going to a long time in jail since they’ll be tried as adults.
So everyone is under age here, right? Ew.

The heroine watches them be taken away, and vows to find them again, because, as she reveals, “they’re the fathers of [her] baby.”

2%

Fast rewind to six month earlier: heroine lives with her mother and billionaire stepdad (apparently he runs a pharmaceutical company too, like the douchebag hero of book 1).

But the rich parents travel all the time and let the heroine alone in the huge mansion.

BTW, it is mentioned that the girl is 18. The first scene makes therefore no sense, and we just fell in a plot hole the size of Grand Canyon. At 2%.

3%

SHOCK. After several years of raising the heroine, the stepdad forgot to tell her he had two twin sons, eighteen as well, that he conceived with a hooker back in his wild days!

Also, stepdad and mom left for a six months trip and forgot to mention that the twins would move in because their mom recently died of an overdose!

I just got rammed by the plot convenience train.

4 %

She’s just standing there while the stepbrothers act as if nothing was wrong. They skip the introduction to got to the essential: how their dad is an asshole who never cared about them.

5%

The heroine can’t think straight because they’re so unbelievably hot. She offers to make them a sandwich. Wait, what?

6%

“Uunf” / “Fuck her hard!” / “Shit! Fuck!” -> We land straight in the middle of a scene where our gentlemen are having their wicked way with a girl they picked up at a bar. The idea here, is to reveal to the reader that they *always* have sex together with the same girl at once. Nice.

7%

More backstory about how they don’t like their mom and she was a whore and an evil greedy junkie. I sense a 50SOG inspiration, here. Also, Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb have a serious problem with women and how to respect them. The ones who are *not* bitches are … sluts.

7%

Heroine is calling her mom. Mom appears sorry that she forgot to update heroine on the porn plot awaiting her.

8%

Heroine is now listening to TDee and TDumb banging their latest conquest. Heroine wonders is the screams and moans could possibly mean that the guys are having sex with their guest. After all, she only saw them undressing the girl and touching her privates before entering their room. So, to quote our heroine: “Could it be?”

9%

Heroine touches herself while listening. Classic. I am again confronted to the repeated use of the term “cunny”. Heroine is apparently (again) a virgin, and concludes this chapter with a bold statement that she’d do anything to be taken by her stepbrothers.

11%

The morning after. TDee and TDumb ignore the girl they spent the night banging, and make it clear that it’s time for her to leave. Before breakfast.

Girl is shocked by the douchebag act and says so. Heroine giggles throughout this entire scene, finding the girl’s distress hilarious.

After their one-night stand is gone, TDee and TDumb warn the heroine that she’d better get used to that kind of scene.
Heroine takes this well, since she believes that the girl “deserved to be treated like this”. Heroine concludes with a cheerful “Anyone up for some pancakes?”

WHERE AM I?

14%

Months pass during which TDee and TDumb bring a new girl home every night, and heroine listens and touches herself. Heroine believes they’ll never bang her because, quoting, here: “We’d developed a healthy sibling relationship.”

I like how everyone is so well-adjusted and cool with whatever goes on in that house.

14%

Parents are clueless.

15%

Heroine embarks on a college tour alone with her twin stepbrothers! Who state that they have no intention of ever going to college!

18%

Heroine purchases sexy lingerie for the college trip.

18%

“I wanted for this college tour to be a tour of my body”

19%

The non-stop girls-banging & “slit-touching” resumes during the college trip. *Yawn*

20%

After yet another mention of the heroine touching herself (There seem to have been no college visits in almost a week now, just self-visits), she decides to dress and go clubbing for the first time. Heroine effortlessly turns into a model after she’s put on a short dress. We learn she’s been gifted by nature with double Ds.

21%

Heroine picks up a random guy in the club, pushes her breasts in is face (her words, not mine) and, gasp! A rape attempt ensue

23%

Worry not, the stepbrothers rescued her

23%

In the aftermath, heroine confesses that she wants to have sex with them both. Twiddle D observes that it wouldn’t be kosher. Twiddle Dumb agrees.
They pounce on her.

25%

I’m reading one of the twins’ POV, he’s talking about “milking her udders” and I feel queasy.

25%

“[Twiddle Dumb] and I have de-virginized a couple of girls and know how to ease a p***y onto its first d*ck.” If a guy ever said that, I would just run. So fast. So far.

27%

She keeps screaming “Aiiiee”. I’m guessing it hurts.

27%

I never want to read again the words “It gets better, I promise.” It’s been done in a million defloration scenes. Please have your Alphas tell the girl that it’s only going to get worse from there. Because it is.

29%

“Pummeling” of the “cervix” and instant O. What’s new?

30%

They are now a ménage, and no one has ever heard of condoms in this family.

32%

At least they’re being honest with themselves. Quoting the heroine, here: “College? Zero importance.”

32 %

Twiddle Dee’s POV: he’s happy, because the heroine used to be a “nerd” but she blossomed overnight thanks to their ministrations. A paper bag. I NEED A PAPER BAG.

Anal is totally on the menu.

32%

“Anal is totally on the menu.”

34%

THEY ARE FINALLY VISITING A COLLEGE!! Also, drama! It is revealed that the twins mean to seduce (well, “sodomize and humiliate”) the heroine with the intent to cause a divorce because their billionaire dad and the heroine’s mother. I can see so many shortcomings to that strategy …

34 %

Twiddle Dumb shows some self-awareness: “I was more than a little confused by our plan”

35%

They’re changing their mind already, they feel bad at the idea of hurting the heroine. Don’t worry, that girl has the cool of a SEAL and a cervix made of hardened steel.

36%

They think she’s cute and let her chatter without listening, thinking of ways to bang her. I love the dynamic in this relationship.

36%

“Thanks big bro!” Ew.

37%

Heroine starts to wonder about the possibility of a pregnancy after several days of unprotected sex. Does nothing about it, though.

38%

Drama! For some reason, the dean of the college they were visiting caught the three of them banging each other in the restrooms (and watched). Dean knows the twins’ father! The end is near!

38%

Pervy dean insists on showing them the tape …

40%

First meltdown. “As a university, it is our duty to protect our students, even prospective ones who haven’t matriculated yet.” And are over 18. Yes. Of course.

41%

Heroine loved that college, but pervy Dean won’t take her application because of all the hot stepbrother sex. Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb disagree and claim to have a plan for her to be accepted there. Since they share approximately half-a-brain, I’m worried.

45%

She begs them to have her one last time before their fast-blossoming love gets outed to the world. They have sex in the woods to solve their problems. Yes, that’s right.

45%

They keep calling her their “little sister” while providing a detailed description of her “labia”.

46%

Dammit, that one is getting her clitoris bitten too! Author, stop it! It doesn’t work the way you think it does! Or maybe it does for you and I don’t want the details!

Anal is totally on the menu

47%

“Aiee!”

47%

“Rectum” / “F*ckpole” / “Oven of pleasure” / “Aiee!”

48%

“Shhh, calm little girl, calm.” She. Is. Not. A. Horse.

49%

“coating her her gastro-intestinal tract with my virility”. Jesus.

49%

I won’t describe what Twiddle Dee just did, but know that he gave her a UTI.

Sweet Raptor Jesus

50%

“Aieee!” She screamed, the second ***** in her **** a complete surprise. [Twiddle Dumb] and I have some bad habits we haven’t lost yet. Must learn to treat little sister more gently.”

50%

Oh. She liked it after all. (Don’t they always do?) Also they’re calling her baby and I need a flamethrower.

51%

The twins convince her that the evil Dean will never out them (that was their plan: do nothing because their father is so rich no would dare crossing them). Their life as a happy ménage resumes. But FOR HOW LONG?

52%

They’re back home, the heroine marvels at how everything looks more beautiful than it did when she left. Twiddle Dee explains that it is because her cherry has been popped and everything now looks different. Science.

52%

The mother and stepdad are back! And they want to talk! Dun dun dun dun ….

58%

It sounds like the stepdad knows everything, but he won’t tip his hand.

59%

Twiddle Dee forces her to take a pregnancy test. Would have been even better if he had forced her to use protection.He insists she takes the test because he and his brother have been banging her non-stop for two weeks.

Her answer: “But,” she said, her cheeks coloring “I thought I would be safe because it was my first time. At least that’s what [Twiddle Dumb] told me.”

I am making none of this up.

60%

She’s pregnant! How can it be?

61%

Twiddle Dumb believes it is his child. Or his brother’s. he doesn’t care either way

61%

He tells her that she won’t regret keeping this child and that he and his nineteen year old brother will be the best dads ever. No further comments your honor.

62%

They’re elated about the pregnancy and proceed to have sex to celebrate. “The lovemaking was a manifestation of our deep, unbreakable ties” / “Shush baby, your anus and twat belong to us.”

Saliva flowing all over his pubes

65%

“Saliva flowing all over his pubes”

66%

She’s getting pummeled a lot, it seems

66%

“Aiiee!” Heroine is a punching bag.

69%

The twins use acronyms such as “DP”, like they’re on a porn set. I am however, relieved to hear that the heroine “did DP just right”

69%

“Oh my God!” -> Stepdad and mother just opened the bedroom’s door and surprised them in the middle of more DP!

69%

Also I just figured what DP stands for!

70%

The cops popped up too! (I have no idea how they can already be there. Have they been waiting all this time?)

70%

And so we’re finally back to where the book started!

71%

Uh, heroine is being handcuffed and forcibly taken to the hospital to be examined, because evil stepdad told the cops she had been hurt. Anyone cares this is illegal?

71%

Heroine is worried that because of the “enthusiastic” and “sensual” sex she had, the police might found bruises on her body, and misunderstand the novel’s plot. “So what if there were a couple of bruises around my waist? So what if there was a bit of tearing around my *****? I was a small girl still learning to take their members, and I was willing to push my body to the limits to accommodate them.”

I have no words. None.

72%

The doctor won’t listen to her and tells her he has methods to determine whether it was “rough sex VS flat-out rape”.

I am hallucinating this book.

76%

Heroine gets turned on during the exam. A surreal conversation with her doctor ensues, as … fluids … leak out of her … cavities, at the same time that she tells the doctor “I was having DP with my brothers.”

A smart girl, she then reveals she’s pregnant ans asks whether there’s a way to determine who’s the father.

I have read many terrible books. I know what dark erotica sounds like. But this, I have never seen.

77%

Doctor announces that there will be no way to determine who’s the father. Heroine thinks “This is the first good news in a while.” Indeed.

78%

“Wasn’t he supposed to be wearing gloves?” Doctor sexually assaults heroine under the guise of medical examination.

WHERE IS MY PAPER BAG?

78%

Heroine reluctantly enjoys the doctor’s touch, he proceeds to perform oral on her. “Oh, doctor! Should we be doing this?”

79%

The doctor claims to want a taste of the aforementioned fluids … Where is this book going?!!!!

80%

Heroine trades a blow job against a “No rape opinion” (is that even a technical term?)

80%

A lot of Unnnnfing

83%

The brothers await at the state penitentiary. Heroine is happy to announce that the doctor won’t go tell everyone they raped her. She skips the details of her exam. It’s probably best for everyone, me included

85%

The twins are worried about their hearing because the billionaire stepdad is powerful enough to change the laws (we’ve seen it all throughout this book. Everything now makes sense!)

86 %

The two weeks foetus is moving and kicking. More science.

87%

The … The twins are planning to break out of their maximum security prison??

87%

Evil stepdad is furious that rape couldn’t be proven. Useless mom is in tears.

88%

Heroine insists again that of course there was no rape, and that any marks on her body are the sign of loving and consensual sex

89%

She … Uh, she marries Twiddle Dee in prison because he’s the most stable and responsible of the two. They plan for a ménage marriage type of thing, but at least, they admit that she cannot marry them both, because “Hey, that’d be bigamy!”

90%

God. They married so they could get conjugal visits. And sex.

Anal is totally on the menu

94%

Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it

94%

Twiddle Dee brought back the heroine’s panties to Tweedle Dumb so he could masturbate in them. But first they need to discuss their prison break!

98%

The twins escaped prison and flew to Cape Verde “where there is a great party scene”.

100%

The heroine was waiting for them in a villa there, they all live happily ever after with their baby.

I hurt my brain tonight. I won’t do it again. For a while.

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